So, I decided to take a different route with this after Part I, the offense. There’s a ton to look at, and I want to be as exhaustive (boring) as possible. Now, I’ll take a look at the pitching. You’ll find your barf bag in the seat back in front of you. There are no emergency exits.

Now that “Got bomb?” Williams has been sliced off the roster, we actually look better…which is sad. Let’s start with the good news: Roy Oswalt. And is there a more steady pitcher in the majors than Oswalt? I would argue long and hard (heheheh, long….hard…heheheheh) that the answer is no. He might be 31 this year, and he might not have the giddyup on his fastball he once did, but he’s the working definition of ruthlessly efficient. He’s got some groinal issues (as does most of the WTP staff), but he’ll be good for 33 above-average starts. Not bad for a short, right handed pitcher.

That ends the good news.

Jose Valverde is ranked second for VORP for the Astros staff by PECOTA. The entire staff. The closer. Oh, we are so screwed. Anyway, Wade acquired Valverde because he comes with that shiny closer smell, but we gave up a shitload of schwag to do so. Valverde saved 47 games last year, but his pitching pattern reminds me of Bob Knepper: one good year, one bad year, one good year, one bad year, and so on. That’s not to say he’ll be bad this year, but I don’t trust pitchers like this any farther than I can throw them (and Valverde is a serious fat ass). I have this suspicion that Valverde will be Wade’s legacy.

Next is Oscar Villareal, who is the best acquisition we made in off-season. He’s bounced back well from a serious abuse episode with the D-backs, and he could easily be the second best pitcher on the team next year. If he pitches better than he has in the spring. But, remember, this dude is a middle reliever.

Jeez, I am three pitchers in and ready to down a gallon of bleach. Speaking of bleach, next up is Wandy. There were some seriously intriguing, yet confusing, numbers from Wandy last year. His K-rate spiked, which is a fantastic indicator, but I can’t figure out why. He did look better, especially with his curve and change. If his numbers are for real, then he’ll beat his PECOTA numbers, but that’s a big if. Nevertheless, he showed a ton of improvement in 2007.

So, that’s two starters and two relievers. There are eight more guys to go, but I can’t do it. The rest that made the 25-man roster are Shawn Chacon (bombastic!), Brandon Backe (not a joke), Dave “Molotov cocktail” Borkowski, Doug Brocail and his 13.00 ERA in the spring, Geoff “ROOGY” Geary, Chris Sampson (and his 9+ spring ERA), Brian “Scuffy” Moehler (nuf ced), and Rule V pickup Wesley Wright.

Excluding Oswalt, our pitchers were good for a 7.16 ERA and a 7.72 RA in the spring, and we don’t train in Arizona. That, my friends, wouldn’t even make the 1930 Phillies proud.

This might be the worst pitching staff, including Oswalt, in my lifetime. We are that bad. Right now, PECOTA has us giving up 813 runs, but I think that total could be closer to 900 than not. I think the pitching is truly that bad, and when you consider that we have nothing on the farm to call up, it could get even uglier.

In the next instalment, I’ll look at our farm and intangibles.

Edit: Thanks to the Crawfish Boxes for info on the 25-man roster. Sorry for the dis the first time around.