Last week’s ranking had just a touch of cynicism to it.  This week I’ll do my best to toss out a few legitimately interesting and exciting things.  Don’t hold your breath.

1.  The California Angels of Los Angeles Anaheim California America:  These are, of course, personal power rankings of my nonsensical interests – but this one is a bit more personal.  I spent the last two years living in Philadelphia.  I am not a big fan of Philadelphia.  Fandom stereotypes exist for a reason.  The first time I went to see the Astros play the Phillies, a mentally retarded guy heckled me for nine innings.  His two juvenile acquaintances called him “the Fonz.”  He informed me of two things: (1) he was going to shit in my hat, and (2) the Beatles are gay (I was wearing a Beatles t-shirt).  Because of this, and my equally stereotypical experience at an Eagles game (PEOPLE, I WAS ROOTING FOR THE EAGLES) I hate any and all Philadelphia sports teams.  I wish them 1,000 years of failure and misery.  This is a long way of saying thanks to the Angles for sweeping the Phillies after Cole Hamel’s ridiculous prophecy last week.

2.  George Carlin:  Shit.  Piss.  Fuck.  Cunt.  Cocksucker.  Motherfucker.  Tits.  Seven words I’m sure he can say in the afterlife.

3.  Gaza Hezballers: I was going to drop them this week, I swear.  There’s an event horizon of self-congratulations – though I’m not sure Matt has ever reached that point.  But then Mark Teixeira belted three home runs in one game.  God my team is good.

4.  Curt Schilling’s Shoulder:  I’m disappointed he didn’t live-blog the surgery on his site!  New word is that he could be pitching by winter.  Yup.  And by winter I’m gonna be Pope!  Good riddance to annoying self-righteous gasbags.

5.  Fresno State Bulldogs:  A complete 180 from my reverence for Tiger’s total domination last week.  Fresno State making the College World Series finals (against the Georgia Bulldogs) is – seeding and competition wise – more impressive than George Mason making the final four.  You gotta root for the underdog!  They’d be higher up the list if Fresno State wasn’t the alma mater of a certain white-glove wearing fairy who couldn’t beat a blind midget in HORSE if you spotted him H-O-R-S and a lay-up… much less an SEC baseball team.

And just to echo the new mantra that seems to be drifting round the blogosphere today – fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.