Things are in a right awful state at Minute Maid Park. As much as I enjoy Shawn Chacon going Stone Cold Steve Austin on Ed Wade, that is a downright frightening indicator of the cancerous state of the clubhouse. I’ve got my own theories, mostly premised on two things: (1) Drayton McLane is a despot, and (2) Ed Wade makes me wish Steve Phillips was in charge. But all joking aside, it’s time to be extremely worried about your hometown heroes.

What started as one long post – I’ve decided to break into two parts. The idea is pretty simple: accountability is lacking in two places – the Astros and the coverage. Welcome to part one, where the average fan gets no answers from the media!

Now I usually steer clear of the Chomicale, but these guys have access to the clubhouse – and if I’m going to get a straight answer about what’s going on, I need to give Little Dickie Justice and the merry bad of ass-clowns over there a chance to inform me. How many times must I burn my hand on the stove?

Before you click that link, let’s see if we’ve hit the checkmark on all the standby excuses. Wistful nostalgia for Gerry Hunsicker? Check. “Bashing” of McLane while still cupping his balls? Check. Immediately blaming the player involved without delving into the source of the animosity and frustration? Check. No attempt to identify the real problem, propose a solution or dig deeper than something I could have written by reading Deadspin and BFD yesterday? Check.

I think it’s best summarized by the final line, “At least there’s nowhere to go but up. If the signing of Chacon has opened eyes and forced a blunt assessment of the franchise, then he might end up being worth the trouble.”

Why don’t you provide that blunt assessment then you no-talent hack? And if you want some real comedy – go read his blog post on the situation. To summarize, he doesn’t believe there’s a toxic clubhouse (but admits to not being in there) and applauds Ed Wade for assembling a good group of guys. This is obviously reinforced by the fact that SHAWN CHACON THREW ED WADE TO THE GROUND. (Don’t give me the “one bad apple” argument – players are clearly upset. You don’t come to a guy’s defense the way the players have unless you saw a damn good reason for his outburst.)

I use this as an illustration of a much bigger problem facing the Astros. No one is willing to admit the problem, and no one is willing to call for the tough solutions. Allow me to help you out. See post two.