I’ve never fully understood the appeal of power rankings – a completely arbitrary list compiled by a bunch of random journalists that shows… uh… what exactly?  Which team is more powerful?  Well that’s a load of bullshit.  How can a Marlin be more powerful than an Astros?  An Astro can go to the fucking moon!  Who would you take in a fight?  A brew master or an angel?  I’m just saying…

Nevertheless – arbitrary lists pass for journalist gold these days, which means I’d be remiss not to jump on that gravy train and hit my Rick Reily-like weekly word requirement.  (BFD is a tough but fair master.)

1.  Gaza Hezballers:  This is my fantasy team.  They are in first place, 19pts ahead of second place.  This qualifies as an American History X curb stomping – and for that they get the inaugural top spot.  How are they so good?  Edinson Volquez, Brian McCann, Nate McClouth and Tim Lincecum – just to name a few.  Nothing like stroking your own ego…

2.  Peter Gammons: He may be the last vestige of good journalism over at tWWL, and while you can sense that Bristol has started to taint his soul – he is still the pinnacle of baseball journalism.  Plus he recovered from an aneurism and continues to write.  Plus he plays guitar and has a rock album.  Seriously, guy is a complete and total badass.

3.  Tampa Bay Devil Rays: How can you not be rooting for these guys?  The definition of a garbage franchise, they’re 1.5 games back of the Red Sox, are tied for the third best record and have the fourth best team ERA in the AL.  Think about that for a second.  The Devil Rays have solid pitching.  (Sidenote: Come back Hunsicker!  All is forgiven!  We’ve stuffed Drayton in a broom closet!  Please!)

4.  Vampire Weekend: A little on the poppy side, but it’s an unbelievably catchy album.  Just good music that puts me in a good mood.  Hard to argue with that.  Also, they ask the poignant question – “who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?”  Who indeed.

5.  Chipper Jones: You have no idea how hard this is for me.  The Atlanta Braves ruined more than a few baseball seasons for me, and Jones was right at the heart of that.  That being said – behind the 55 56 (epic fail!) game hit streak, I’m of the opinion the hardest thing for a hitter to pull off is a .400 avg.  Jones is hitting .420, 219 Abs into the season.  I know Big Puma is absolutely raking – but what Jones is doing is equally ridiculous.